Uncertain where to begin middle end.

I had a nice weekend. Went to Chicago to visit my best friend. Found out their art museum currently holds the original Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte. Pointillism and pixels are similar so I have an affinity for that one. Lucked out and got to see Bad Religion headline. Slept a lot but evidently not enough. Life has left me feeling perpetually drained recently. Just watched the season premire of The OC. Struck me as I watched it how as an observer, all the melodrama seems absurd and the answers simple, but my own life's drama leaves me in uncertain search of answers. I would be smoking a cigarette inside while I write this if I didn't live with other people which I guess is a blessing as cigarettes are stupid.

I feel betrayed by my countrymen. That's my best explanation for my last post which I absolutely do not apologize for nor recant. Although in my haste to churn it out before my flight, I said something like "midwest" when I really meant something more like "the south." I talked with Sarah to try to gain some perspective on my admittedly one-sided view of religion, since she majored in religious studies @Stanford and is now in grad school for the same, despite or perhaps because of her atheism. She still respects the believers while I simply somewhat comprehend them. It's hard to separate a person from this stupidity even when everything else about them is fine. I'm not going to respond to the comments on my last post but I appriciate them all - I was clearly looking for a response.

Sarah's explanation was that religion (to be specific here, I am talking mainly about Christianity, although it applies to all the religions especially non nature-based-stuff) was started by one guy who had nice ideas about being good to your fellow homo sapiens. He attracted followers 'cause he had a good idea. That's about where it all went wrong. The problem is, people are stupid. Education is not sufficient to make people be good to each other and make the right choices. So instead of saying "Hey, be good to people because it's the right thing to do and ultimately you and everyone else will be better off," you've gotta use "Hey, be good to people or you will burn for eternity." Great! Only its big strength is its big weakness - this fear of God is easily co-opted by powermongers who realize that it can be used equally easily for their own ends. Sarah sez that education isn't a valid substitute for religion because people are stupid and it's a depressing yet convincing argument. So the answer to religion is unclear. Anyhow, her explanation of Bush's win was this: by stressing his 'faith' and painting the struggle as a classic Good (or "Us") vs. Evil (or "Them"), he made Kerry look, well, petty - with all his "words" and "facts" and "intelligence." I'm so paraphrasing it hurts but I don't have the wherewithal to spell this out more. Honestly, at this point I think you either get it or you don't. And that standard exuse for Faith In God that goes "It's just something I need to get through the day" - lying to yourself isn't useful to you, only those who seek to manipulate you. If you want a community, find it for a reason other than mutual gullibility. If you want something to help you through the day knowing what a fucked-up place the world is, well, good luck. Me, I like the sauce. And yes, I realize that I'm being divisive and intolerant, that I'm generalizing, vilifying, and generally being republican. The irony is not lost on me. If you don't realize how self-aware I am, you don't know me.

I think I might've had more but I'm going all ADD as usual. If I owe you email or some variant thereof, I'm not ignoring you, I'm just lazy and easily distracted. Keep that breath bated.